Against the Giants Collation

I understand that randomly packaged packs of cards/minis/whatever… aren’t.  There’s a very good reason for this; true randomness would be prohibitively expensive to assure.  Then, when the truly random packs got to the customers, there would be complaints that people weren’t able to build the full set after so many packs.  Getting the same rare five times in a row does in fact sometimes happen with a truly random distribution.

You can also read this as “people are bad at math.”

Still, some attempt at randomness should be made. For a couple of years, AEG’s CCGs were not randomized in the box, and so one could go through a box and pull out every foil and chase rare, leaving the chafe behind.  This is a bad thing.

But the collation for the new D&D minis set?  Way beyond that.  Our first two cases opened, for a total of 12 packs, were identical.  All 8 miniatures, supposed drawn from separate groups, were identical. There is simply no excuse for that sort of laziness.

Then I won several drinks by betting gullible customers that I could call all the miniatures in pack 12 before opening it, so I suppose it could be worse.

On Hiring

We’re a reasonably large store, as far as small businesses go. But we are still, in fact, a small business. There are currently five employees for the store.

We get all sorts of people looking to work here. After all, who wouldn’t want to get paid to read comic books or play games. Many of the people who apply simply don’t understand that this is a job like any other, and work does in fact need to get done.

But sometimes, there are highlights to the crowd that we will certainly not hire. As a word of advice to the potentials out there:

If you’ve given us an application, we know you’re looking for a job. Checking back once is fine. Checking back every week is not.
Calling one of our product groups (i.e. comics, minis, etc.) “a crappy hobby” is not a good start.
Asking for a job is OK. Demanding that you get one, or you’ll never shop here again, isn’t.
Just because you’ve got boobs doesn’t mean that we’ll give you a job. The employees here are not the socially akward type (…mostly).
If you need to have you’re friend ask for you, we won’t have much faith in your ability to talk to customers.
If one of us tells you we’re not hiring, you’re not going to get a different answer from someone else.
Muttering “I can’t believe to lame-ass fucking comic book store won’t even hire me,” on your way out pretty much kills of any lingering doubts we might have had towards your suitability for the store.

To balance this out, here are some things you can do to be considered hiring material:

Be helpful. Volunteer to DM, answer questions, help tidy up after yourself or others.
Bring us food. Especially when there’s only one person on shift.
Talk with us. Not to us, and not at us.
And if all else fails, defeating one of us in one-on-one combat to the death will ensure you the spot of the defeated, Highlander style.

Warhammer 40K Weekend

Games Workshop is releasing the latest edition of their 40K rules set this weekend. (That’s 5th Edition, for you folks keeping track at home). In celebration of this (arguably) momentous event, they’ve organized a tournament to be run simultaneously at a bunch of independent stores, in addition to the official GW Battle Bunkers.

I have no problems with the Games Workshop product line. Their casts tend to be clean, and are interesting and complex. Their costs are reasonable, even if on the high end thereof. Their rules set caters well to the type of gamer that makes up their market.

No, the problems I have with GW are with the company itself, and some of their absurd policies. For example, making certain pieces available only direct from them? Equivalent to flipping the bird at local retailers. Limited release items that are “out of stock,” but that individuals can still order? Requiring retailers to order from all three product lines, including the sells-about-as-fast-as-a-space-heater-in-the-Sahara Lord of the Rings line, in order to get free shipping and event support? More spitting in the face. These types of decisions are why I dread dealing with the company in any capacity.

Back to the events. GW has gone all out on this weekend: We’ll be giving out $430 retail worth of Games Workshop products this weekend, at a series of free events. GW will be reimbursing us for this support.

That’s absurd. That amount is just slightly under what we’ve sold worth of GW products for the past two weeks. And GW is simply handing it away to people.

So, either I’m doing something very wrong here, or they are. If (…when) we only get two people showing up this weekend, I’ll be pretty comfortable in assuming that it’s them. But in the meantime, hey, free GW stuff if you come play.

Things You Hear From People Trying to Sell You Stuff

“Yeah, of course they’re in mint condition.”
“Yeah, they’re like a couple decades old.”
“What, you’re too good for my collection?”
“I took real good care of them.”
“Yeah, I’ve got a Spiderman #1 at home. You interested in that?”
“What do you mean you won’t pay that? That’s what the book says they’re worth. I want my fucking money!”
“Fuck You!”
“Go to Hell!”
“Eat Shit!”
“I’m just looking for a few bucks to buy gifts for the holiday….Yeah, well fuck you!”

I’m starting to notice a bit of a trend. It’s actually easier than it sounds, since people looking to sell tend to come in in rather large clumps. I don’t think that I’ve been any more vitriolous than usual towards them, so I’d guess that the holiday season really does bring out the worst in people. The important thing to remember is that you are running a store, not running a charity. People don’t look to sell quality product any more; there’s Ebay for that. No, people are looking for handouts, and you simply cannot give it to them and still expect to remain in business.

Still makes me feel a bit bad, though.

*!#$ YuGiOh Kids…

Item 1: How many times should a shopkeep watch bungled attempts at theft before stepping in. One of these little buggers first walked behind the counter to raid the singles showcase. He’s short, so it might have gone unnoticed, were I not staring at him the whole time. Next, he attempted to claim that a number of MtG singles were commons, and cost $.10 each. One of the other employees caught that one. Finally, on the way out, he grabbed an entire binder of L5R from another customer and attempted to offski.

This entire series of events is quite puzzling to me. He’s the right age for YuGiOh, but he also went for MtG (I could see that), and L5R (WTF!). He had a believeable excuse each time, so it’s conceiveable that this is simply rampant stupidity. Needless to says, he was asked not to come back.

Item 2: I have reached the point where I considered poor sportsmanship grounds for expulsion. One of the YuGiOh kids suffered this wrath today. I’ll put up with grumpiness. I’ll even accept a modicum of trash talk. But if you ever 1) Yell top-of-lungs at an opponent, 2) Snatch (yes, that’s the right verb) cards or results slips out of hands, or 3) Falsify the results slip and then lie about it, you’ll be DQed and booted.

One of these days I’ll crack, and I’ll punt one of the little shits. I figure I can make at least 20 feet…

No Rest For The Wicked

And I begin my 15th day in a row of work… Dan was supposed to be back in by now, but he’s got an inner ear infection in both ears. I really want to be angry/frustrated/upset/grumpy, but I’ve had these infections before, and I know first hand how painful they really are. So I trudge, Sisyphean, once more to a pile of never ending tasks.

Anyone want to give me a massage?

Minor Annoyances

Shoplifting bothers me. It shouldn’t, really. The overwhelming amount of knowledge about how a retail store runs forces one to accept that people simply take stuff without paying for it. Accounting sheets even have a spot for how much stock you lose to it, and acceptable percentages can run as high as (depending on the industry) 20%. 20%! That’s one in five items that simply walks out the door. Mind-boggling…

Part of the reason it bothers me so much is that I think of this store, more and more, as my store. When someone takes something, it bothers me it the same way as someone walking into my house, picking one of my books off my bookcase, and walking out with it. Very frustrating. (And I know this, unfortunately, from first-hand experience.)

I’m not saying that I don’t understand the appeal of it. Hell, I love free stuff. And I’ve had friends who’ve done very good jobs justifying theft from the corporate chain stores. I can understand taking something that you really want because you simply do not ahve enough money for it. Not sure I can condone it, but I can at least understand it.

But to steal a couple of $1 cards, after you’ve traded for over $20 with rares you have available, after you’ve been asked if you’re ready to be rung up, and after you’ve made a point of saying you decided not to buy them… That’s just ten kinds of tacky.

Having your buddy graffiti the toilet seat while you’re at it? Congratulation, sir! You have broken records with your superdickery.

California state law makes it very hard to do anything about shopliftng, ever. Before the person leaves, they technically haven’t stolen anything. After they leave, you are not allowed to detain them against their will, and the burden of proof is on you, the shopkeeper. This leaves one feeling impotent as one watches someone walk out without having paid, being unable to do anything about it.

Fortunately, I know that the gentlemen to whom I refer are going to be at the Grand Prix in San Jose next weekend. As will I. My revenge is yet undecided, but it will be sweet.

I’m open to suggestions.

Problems with Management

Over the course of this week, the store has managed to miss several special orders, failed to get in several new products, and missed the sign-up dates for Free RPG day. These are all rather important things, and each of them can be blamed on the Owner, through either laziness or incompetence. Either way, he needs to stop working in the store, and handle the various books and bills from elsewhere.

Any suggestions of how I go about convincing him of this?

Perseverence

It is a bit of a relief to know that it only takes a medium-sized mountain of evidence to effect any sort of change in store policy. After only four different people asking yesterday, the store is actually going to start selling energy drinks. This is good.

Not as good as if Bawls had actually decided to sponsor us, but that’s their loss. Hell, we get more people in the store every Friday night that any LAN in the North Bay.

Also, this weekend, what with the magic and the comics and the screaming kids, will be hell. That is all.

General Hatred Towards Humanity

I am blessed to work at a game store that has a remarkable low percentage of “scary gamers;” the kind that scare good wholesome people off of the hobby. I’m talking about the unwashed, the stuttering, the poor dressing, the absolute lack of social skills, the idiocy, and the like. I hate them. I hate dealing with them. And I hate the fact that they are what makes people not come into my store.

The fact that there are so few of them is, in a way, a curse, for it means that the ones that do come in are so much more annoying.

A gentleman walks into the store. He asks if Chris is working. He then asks for Chris’ home phone number. “No, it’s cool,” he says, “we’re good friends. I just lost my phone, so I don’t have his number.” I don’t know this person, so I’m not going to be giving out phone numbers.

Apparently, this upsets the gentleman. He decides to get even.

He asks for a comic special order. Then another. Then another. And a fourth. When it comes time to pay, he changes his mind because he doesn’t want to prepay. He then heads over to the card game section, and starts asking questions. Lots of questions. Lots and lots of questions. When he’s done asking questions, he’ll wait just long enough for me to start to walk away, and then ask another question.

These are inane questions. Like “Is this fun?” Or “How much does this cost?” (In every case, the price for the item was clearly marked, on the standard back flap for the RPGs or on the front if the card for the CCGs. He does this for every section of the store; comics, board games, Heroclix, Warhammer, D&D, Rifts, WoW RPG, Magic, L5R, and nWoD.

When I finally get short with him, after more than half an hour of this (“I’m sorry, I have work I need to get done. Let me know when you’re ready to be rung up.”) he insists that the customer service in this store sucks, and he’d never spend money here.

What the hell?

Does this sort of attitude work in other stores? Does it actually get him anywhere in life? Other than, you know, pissing people like me off.

Stupid Mondays…